


Now if I keep my eyes closed...

by TheShireCantHandleMe



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bisexual Barry Allen, Blow Jobs, Bottom Leonard Snart, Dom/sub Undertones, Fluff and Angst, I'm Sorry, Light Choking, M/M, Porn with Feelings, coldflash - Freeform, demisexual leonard snart, grey sexual leonard snart, i have no good excuse for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 20:55:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14004588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShireCantHandleMe/pseuds/TheShireCantHandleMe
Summary: Leonard needs something only Barry can give him.





	Now if I keep my eyes closed...

Saints and Sinners honestly isn't where you go if you're looking for a good time... or even an okay time. The food is fine but the floor has a constant state of 'slightly tacky' under foot, it smells like cigarettes despite the smoking ban and it's never very busy. The lights are always so low you're never quite sure what time of day it is. Which is exactly why Leonard comes here, to be left alone. There's a level of mutual respect between him and the owner. She doesn't let no trouble start and neither does Len. She doesn't force him to talk about his problems. Just puts a neat whisky in front of him when he looks like shit and carries on wiping the glasses dry. He looks like shit, he knows that. Sitting there with 4 day old stubble nursing a drink and a black eye. He deserved it. He's been a little bitch lately. He's honestly surprised it took Mick so long to clock Len in the face and tell him to _“Go get fucking laid.”_ because Mick knows that is his issue. Most of the time he doesn't really care to be touched at all, after his up bringing most touches just brought pain with them. Sometimes though this itch appears between his shoulders that he just can't get away from. Most of the time putting his cock in a pretty young thing fixes it easy but not this time because it's different.  
  
The itch in Len's shoulder's isn't from wanting a quick fuck, it's from wanting something unattainable. He'd gone out and put his dick in some pretty young thing called Sebastian. He's been doing that weeks, months even, he's practically a regular for him now but each encounter makes the itch grow. The guys kissable lips, green eyes and constant bed head of chestnut brown hair makes Len's chest ache. Every time he's balls deep in the guy he doesn't moan quite right, doesn't say Len's name right, mostly because he's calling him Tom but that's a different issue. There's no afterglow, its a fuck 'em and leave 'em kinda deal. It's not working because what Len wants is to _be_ fucked into the mattress in a way that would easy the ache. By someone he can trust not to hurt him. Someone very specific. So every morning when Len wakes up and turns in bed with no one there his heart breaks a little more and he's becoming an angry little bitch more by the day.  
  
“You look like shit.” Len jolt's up in his seat. He hadn't even noticed Barry come in. So consumed with his thoughts about the man in front of him. He blinks owlishly at him as Barry gestures to the empty side opposite him. When he continues to stare blankly Barry huffs and slides into the seat opposite. “Are you okay Snart?” Barry asks as he adjusts to get comfy. Len jerks his head once.  
  
“What do you want Barry?” He takes a long gulp of his whisky to try and burn out the ache in his chest that's climbing up his throat.  
  
“Your help. What else is new?” Barry grimaces and gestures his palms outward. Len just raises an eyebrow at that and makes his own get on with it gesture. Barry is silent for a moment. Len wonders if he's using his speed to analyse his appearance. “There's a thief in town. A good one.” Len gives him a dark look at that. “Not as good as you of course. That's why I'm here. We think they must be a Meta. In and out, no trace. No alarms...and well to catch a thief.” Barry waves a hand at him.  
  
“You gotta think like a thief.” Len states, contemplating the glass at the bottom of his almost empty drink.  
  
“Right... so?” Barry leaves the word hanging there. They are kind of frenemies now. Len rolls the glass between his finger tips. He could say that he wants a deal but there's nothing he wants. Well, one thing but Len isn't the type of person to trade for that because it wouldn't be real and that would hurt more. In the imaginary world where Barry would even say yes to that deal, it would just taint anything they had together. Len would hate himself in ways he doesn't even want to think about. Honestly, no matter how many times he helps Barry he could never repay for Team Flash saving Lisa. For the trust and kindest Barry has shown him since they met. For what Barry gives him every time he insists Len is good.  
“Okay.” He looks Barry dead in the eyes when he says it. Sees the hint of suspicion that swims into Barry's eyes.  
  
“Okay? Just like that. No Deal?” Barry questions, because of course he would.  
  
“Not in the mood to deal. Besides, nothing I want right now.” Len says, effectively ending their conversation. He's doing his best to keep his actions, thoughts and feelings insides. It's getting harder the longer Barry sits there.  
  
“Okay.” Barry gives Len a contemplative look and raps his fingers against the table. He gets up and walks away and Len goes back to staring into the bottom of his glass. Just when he feels calm again another whisky slides into his vision but those hands don't belong to the owner. Barry's sliding himself back into the seat opposite with a beer in his hand. “You look like you need another. Wanna talk about it?”. He waves his beer at Len's face.  
  
“Nope.” Len says, grabbing the second drink and downing it. He grimaces at the burn and the movement makes his bruised face hurt so he presses the cold glass into his cheek and eye socket with his eyes closed. “What are you doing Barry?”  
  
“Making sure you're okay. I haven't seen you... like this before.” Barry mumbles the last part, clearly unsure how to word his opinions of how Len is acting right now. Len thinks that Barry hasn't been paying attention if he doesn't notice how Len acts around him. “I can go if you would rather be alone but you kinda look like you shouldn't be alone right now.”  
  
“Please.” Len says through gritted teeth. He doesn't want to be alone but Barry, this close, is a bad idea. Barry is always a bad idea.  
  
“Okay.” Barry downs his beer and begins to get up when Len's hand shoots across the table and grabs his wrist. Len's staring at his own hand like it's betrayed him because it fucking has. Barry's eyes are flicking between the hand and Len's face with concern and Len bites on his tongue and swallows because his fucking mouth is about to betray him too. Barry slowly sits back into his seat the movement causing Len's finger to slide onto the skin of his wrist. He can feel Barry's insane hummingbird heart beat under his fingers and he wants so much it's going to choke him. He tilts his head and works his stiff jaw trying to think of how to word the shit storm in his head. He needs to tread careful.  
  
“There is something I want.” He starts and Barry just nods and smiles, brows drawing together at the hand still on his wrist. “But. This wouldn't be a deal. I want you to understand that. It's a choice, for you. It would be something for you to do if you want to. Not because you owe me. Not a favour. It's something you can definitely say no to Barry. Do you understand that?” Len looks into Barry's eyes with conviction. He wants Barry to get this. If he's going to ask it can't be tainted. Barry swallows, looking confused but nods in understanding. “I want you.... to fuck me.” Len says, eyes never leaving Barry's. He watches Barry's eyebrows almost disappear off his face with how fast they rise. How he chokes on air with wide eyed confusion.  
  
“You?... You're serious? You want me to what? Right now?” Barry stutters over his words sounding baffled. His voice higher than it was a moment ago. Len sets his face hard and pulls away hand sliding across the table when suddenly there's a hand covering his to halt the retraction. “You're serious Leonard?” Barry says sounding more sure than before.  
  
“Yes.” Len is staring at the hand covering his. Memorising the feeling, wishing he could turn his hand and take hold of it. He looks up at Barry. “It's not something I do often. I have some rules. Is that a yes?” Len says. He's trying to hold back the hope in his voice. Keep a passive face. He doesn't want to give away what this would mean. He can't hope for this even though he's asked. His chest is constricting with every breathe. He did some digging. He knows Barry's aversion wouldn't be because he's a man, it would be because it's him and that's worse. Barry settles back and removes his hands.  
  
“What rules?” Barry says seriously. He sounds curious. He's looking at Len like he can't quite figure out why he wants this, why he's asking him for it and Len want's to keep it this way. Len thinks about what would make this easier but still give him want he thinks he needs to easy the itch.  
  
“No kissing. Licking, biting, scratching is fine but no kissing at all. No calling me Snart.” He tilts his head considering. “Manhandling is fine but nothing that will injury or hurt.” Barry's eyes widen at that. _Always a Saint_ Len thinks Barry wouldn't even consider that. “No rushing through it.” Len says last. He wants it to last. “I want your best. I want to ache after.” His face is totally serious, he knows there's some honesty cracking through his mask right now. This is a mistake but he can't take the words back.  
  
“Oh you'd feel it.” Barry says smirking smugly. “Where?” He looks around the bar at distaste.  
  
“Is that a yes?” Len leans forward in his chair. Bracing his forearms on the table. He's looking at Barry in a way he never has before like he really is Len's Salvation. Barry mirrors Len and smiles gently.  
  
“If you wanna do this now... then where?” Barry swallows looking over Len's face. He moves his index finger to gently brush over Len's.  
  
“14B Kingston Street.” Barry gets up then and raises an eyebrow at him and nods his head towards the door and starts walking. Len slides out his seat without a word and follows. When he steps out the bar the cold air hits him. It's later than he realised. He'd been in there longer than he realised. He pulls his jacket and looks around for Barry. Seeing him at the edge of the alley by the bar he strides over to him and into the alley.  
  
“Can't flash you out in the middle of a Bar now can I?”. He moves closer to Len. Their breathe mingling. Eye's roaming over each other's faces looking for signs of hesitation. “Hold on tight.” Barry whispers before slowly winding an arm around Len's waist. Smirking at the hitch in Len's breathe, he sweeps Len into his arms at super speed. Next thing Len knows he's standing in his bedroom in the same alley way position. The movement makes Len's head sway and Barry's other hand steadies him at his hip. Len's hands are clenched at his sides, his jaw tight. He's not relaxed. He wants to be but letting his guard down is dangerous. “Leonard?” Barry slides his left hand round his neck and nudges his head to look at him. “You want this?” Their noses almost touching.  
  
“Yes.” Len answers without hesitation but still doesn't move. He's looking at Barry's lips and Barry wonders if he's already going to break his own rules. Barry slides his other hand and grasps the sides of his face, locking their eyes.  
  
“Then touch me.” He states and to make his point he tilts Len's head back and licks a stripe up from his adam's apple to pulse point. Biting down and sucking. That has Len groaning and grabbing at his hips. Sliding his hands up into his shirt, up his abs and flanking round his ribs. Barry pulls back to push Len's jacket off his shoulders and Len flicks it off to the floor. Then he's grasping for Barrys in turn and doing the same. Len reaches for the hem of Barry's t-shirt and pulls it up trapping Barry's arms and face in the material but he doesn't finish the action. Instead he's leaves Barry trapped to get himself out while he falls to his knees and bites gently into the flesh of Barry's stomach. Delighting in the way the muscles flex and jump under his lips. Humming in a way Barry's never heard anyone do with him. Barry frees himself and slides a hand around Len's skull. Len looks up at him and Barry's breathe catches. It was just a second before Len's eyes stray back to the edge of his jeans but people don't look at him like that.  
  
“You're delicious.” Len speaks into the skin along his jean edge while flipping open the button and pulling down the zipper. Dragging the material down he buries his face into the bulge and gently bites and licks Barry's cock. He looks up at Barry for permission for this. He didn't ask if this was okay. Barry nods, not trusting his voice when Len's smiles like he's been given a gift. Len pulls down his pants and licks up his length, brushing his thumbs across the V of Barry's hips he wraps his mouth around the head and sucks, moaning into it. Barry groans, his hips stuttering forward. Both hands now framing Len's head, his nails digging into the nape of his neck. Len slides slowly up and down Barry's length. Sucking on each drag backwards, sliding his tongue against the underside. He pulls back, letting his teeth catch and drag slightly across the head as he does which makes Barry swear and chase his lips. “Delicious.” Barry huffs a laugh.  
  
“I'm not a pie.” Barry looks down into Len's eyes, wiping the wetness around his smirking mouth. “This isn't what you asked for. As great as it is and it is really great.” Len's eyes gleam at the compliment. “Do you want me in you?”. Len growls at that and uses leverage on Barry's hips to pull himself to standing and pull Barry against him.  
  
“Yes...please.” Len states, running his hands up Barry's sides and leaning in to bite his neck and across his collarbone. Barry runs his fingers along the edge of Len's long sleeved top and slides it up and off. Taking in Len's torso. There's less scars than he imagined. He can see why Len wears the long sleeves. There's several scars on both forearms that look like old cigarette burns. Barry wants to kiss every one. He slides his hands over Len's shoulders and down his front, tweaking his nipples on the path to his jeans. Len grips him harder at that and grunts. Barry's eyes never leave Len's as he undoes his jeans and slides a hand inside his underwear. Gripping Len hard in his left, his right slides around Len's waist to pull their chests together. So close he can feel a ghost of breathe on his face. Len's hand slides to the back of his neck gripping just as hard, holding Barry like he doesn't know whether to push him away or drag him in. He backs Len toward the bed urges him to slide towards the head board while Barry keeps hold of his clothes so they drag off with the movement. Leaving them both bare. Barry crawls over Len pausing over his cock he leans down and takes it as deep as he can, moaning around the taste and weight on his tongue. Len grips the sheets biting his lip to keep quiet so Barry vibrates his throat to rip the groan out of Len's. He slides off and continues crawling over Len until they're eye to eye.  
  
“My rule. I wanna hear you.” Len nods and goes to flip over onto his front but Barry grabs his hip as it turns and forces it back pinning him with both hands. “And. I want to see you.”. Len's jaw clenches like he wants to argue that one but he doesn't. He just points towards to the night stand instead. Barry reaches over to get the supplies, letting his cock drag across Len who is sliding his hands all over Barry's body like he can't quite get enough. Barry grabs the pillow by his head and lifts Len's hips with easy to slide it under them. Len looks so open in this position and Barry has to bite his tongue to quell the urge to kiss up his thighs. He settles in between Len's thighs and reaches lube slicked fingers down behind his balls as Len's breathe catches. Running his fingers gently over the flesh before pushing in with one. Len grunts and pushes against it straight away so Barry hold's his hips down. “You said not to hurt you.” Barry says carefully rubbing Len.  
  
“I also said manhandle me. I can take it a little rougher Barry. I'm not a priceless work of art.” Len says agitated. He feels better and worse at the same time. The itch is easing but the ache is worse. Barry huffs at that.  
  
“You sure about that?” He says rubbing a little harder, adding another finger, pushing a little deeper “God, the way you look right now. I want to bury my face in that cock, in your arse. Fuck I bet you'd make such pretty noises with my tongue in your arse.” He leans in and bites the soft flesh of Len's thigh. “Next time.”. Len goes to reply but Barry adds another finger and pushes in deep to find his prostrate so all that comes out of Len's mouth is a whine. Barry uses his powers to dilate time and vibrate his fingers. He gets to watch in slow motion the look of awe that comes over Len's face, the way his hands flutter at his sides, the stretch of his stomach muscles as his back arches, the jump of his cock and the drip of cum that falls onto his stomach. Time speeds back up and Len's fist thumps into the mattress.  
  
“Bar..ry.” Len keens his name and it sounds so beautiful. Barry thinks he looks too beautiful like this. “Pleaseee. I need.” Len looks at Barry with desperation. Barry said he'd feel it and he's keeping that promise.  
  
“I know what you need.” Barry states as he removes his fingers, rolling the condom on himself. He moves closer into Len and lines himself up. “Ready?” Len nods shakily. “I promise you'll love this.” Slowly inching his cock into Len and holding him around the top of his arse. “Fuck, so good. You feel so good.” Len just nods more vigorously and pushes back into him, moaning. Barry pulls back almost all the way and does the same slow push in. Again and again he slowly drags himself in and out. All while holding Len's hips tight so he can't push back and change the pace. It's driving Len mad. He'll leave bruises with how hard he's holding his hips. This pace won't let Len cum but it feels so good. He feels so full, then empty, then full again. Barry's sliding over his prostrate every damn time agonisingly slow. He bottoms out in Len and shuffles forward just a little deeper, bending Len over a bit more he leans over Len so there's not much choice but to be face to face. Barry leans in to lick and bite at Len's neck. Len can feel Barry's laugh into his skin holding himself inside Len as deep as possible. Barry's hips start to vibrate slightly. The moan that comes out of Len is so loud the next building might here. He clutches at Barry's shoulder, scratches at his back. “You feel that?” Barry whispers in his ear. “No one in the world can give you this but me.” He runs a hand over Len's buzz cut. Barry lean's back to get leverage and pistons his hips into Len. “Only me.” He starts pounding into Len harder now, faster with more urgency. Len keens and grips Barry's shoulders pulling at him. Barry lean's down gripping a hand around his neck “Look at me Len.” and Len does, his eyes glassy, tears threatening to spill. “Is this what you wanted? To be fucked... so good.” Barry says putting their foreheads together.  
  
“Yeah.” Len breathes heavy. “Barry. You feel...” He grips wrist near his neck and pulls Barry's hand to the hollow of his throat. The silent gesture isn't lost on Barry. Len needs this too so he pushes gently against his throat. Len nods looking Barry in the eyes. “I trust you.”. Barry nods back concerned and leans up onto his hand by Len's shoulder putting just enough pressure against Len's neck to really feel it but not so hard he struggles breathe. It lets Barry feel every breathe that comes in and out, every vibration of moans and curses falling from Len's lips.  
  
“Show me Len. Show me how good this feels for you.” Barry says still pounding into Len. Len grabs the back of Barry's neck, holding him close, his cock dragging between their sweaty bodies on every thrust. As he cums the tears spill from his eyes and Barry kisses one away when he knows he shouldn't but he hopes Len's too far gone to notice. Barry cums in Len deep. His whole body blurring with the pleasure. They hold each other close as the come down. Barry with his arms wrapped loosely around Len's head but too soon Len pulls away. He moves out from under Barry, swings his legs over the bed and heads to the bathroom. Barry flops onto his back and lays staring at the ceiling confused about what this is. He thinks over the tears in Len's eyes, the looks he keeps giving him. He looks over to Len when he comes back out the bathroom and realises that look. He imagines it's the same look he had every time Iris got a little too close, or said some thing a little too kind. It's heartbreak when someone you love doesn't love you back. Iris never wanted to love Barry back. She never even considered it but part of the reason Barry got over her was the snarky bastard looking at him right now. The man Barry's imagination uses to keep him warm at night. The reason he let Patty go so easy. Barry can stop that look on Len's face and he wants to. Len walks up to the bed with his mask firmly in place. He's putting his walls up to protect himself and Barry doesn't want that. Not after this.  
  
Barry moves up onto his knees on the bed, frames Len's face with his hands and kisses him. Len tries to pull away so Barry bites his lip and growls. Sliding his hand up the back of Len's neck. Len moans into Barry's mouth and pulls him closer. When Len opens up enough to deepen the kiss and let Barry lick into his mouth he hums in approval. The kiss is hot and heavy, Barry dominating, going deep, dragging it out just like his did with the sex.  
  
“Don't do this to me Barry.” Len pants when they break apart. He hasn't pulled away entirely which Barry takes as a good sign.  
  
“Why not?” Barry states but when Len goes to reply he shushes him with a finger to his lips. “Do you know what I want Leonard? Did you even think to ask?” Len just stares at him. “So caught up in protecting yourself. I understand but you didn't even think I might want this too. That I want to kiss you, to wake up with you, want to have breakfast with you and hold your hand.” Barry takes Len's hand and links their fingers. “I want you, Leonard. Now what do you really want?”. Len lifts their hands and kisses Barry's knuckles.  
  
“I want you.” Len says looking conflicted.  
  
“Then come back to bed and let me stay?” Barry says hopefully shuffling back on the bed and pulling Len's hands to get him to follow. Len smiles and follows. Barry pulls Len into his embrace as they settle in, kissing Len on his bruised cheek. It doesn't matter that Len doesn't say it. Barry can see now just how much Len loves him. He's not the type to say it so until he's ready Barry will just have to show Len how much he loves him too.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. This was stuck in my head and it needed out. I'm sorry. I don't really write smut but I read so many Coldflash where Len is this smooth operator and honestly I think he'd be a fucking mess if he liked someone. If you spot typos let me know.


End file.
